Queen of the Bondo

Confession: I was a crazy vegetarian teenager, the kind of monster who would sidle up behind the cheerleaders as they were applying their makeup in front of the locker room mirror and say, “L’Oreal tests on animals, you know. BUNNY-KILLER.” Not to toot my own horn, but I knew that you shouldn’t eat partially hydrogenated soybean oil way before anyone was calling it trans-fat. In fact, I was enormously suspicious of processed food of any kind — I recall a phase where I regaled anyone who would listen with horror stories about the Big Sugar Conspiracy — so I taught myself how to eat healthy (and cheap, but that goes without saying).

And if a stereotypical Gen-X slacker like me could do it, you know it isn’t too hard.

But over the last fourteen years of adulthood, I have gotten increasingly lazy about my grocery spending. I used to routinely feed myself for $11 a week. Then it leveled off to around $36 a week (Yes, even at Whole Foods. Even in New York.) Having a husband means that more beer, ice cream, and Tastykakes sneak their way into the grocery cart and I usually eat those too, because they are delicious. But we probably only spend $60 on a particularly luxury-rich week. Luxuries for us typically include sour cream, bagels, cheese of the non-utilitarian variety (like tiny wedges of gorgonzola), and ten pounds of raisins (we use the raisins for winemaking).

While I acknowledge that people are all different and everyone leads a complicated modern life, I have found that there are some simple truths that have taken hold in my cheap healthy eating routine. Here are three of them. (more…)